Movie Stars

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett is an incredibly versatile actress who’s been in a bunch of interesting and diverse films, including Match Point, Girl With the Pearl Earring, Lucy, The Island, the Avengers films, Under the Skin and the slightly controversial Ghost In the Shell. Her role as a cute dog in Isle of the Dogs is possibly my favourite thing she’s done so far. I even own (and enjoy) the album she did, Anywhere I Lay Me Head, which is mostly cover versions of Tom Waits songs. She’s pretty damn cool. Oh, I guess she’s also pretty good-looking too. I suppose…I like her so much I actually wrote a song about her. Here are the lyrics:

by Will Greeves*

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Sarah’s done some films – notably Cruel Intentions, Simply Irresistible and the Grudge – but let’s face it, we mostly know and love her for her role as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Gellar’s Buffy is sassy, sexy, smart, occasionally silly – oh, and strong. The Buffster is probably seen at her best in the first season, when she wore her sexiest clothes and shortest dresses – no doubt a conscious decision to maximise the fledgling show’s chances of getting an audience. But it’s hard to go past the second season episode called Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, where a be-spelled Buff comes on to Xander wearing nothing but a very short raincoat. Ouch! I love it when she wrinkles her face up and pulls her head back in disgust when something gross happens.

Jennifer Connelly

Jennifer Connelly

Jennifer started out as a child star in the film Labyrinth.  Then she grew an amazing set of boobies which, in combination with her beautiful, fresh face, glossy black hair and Brooke Shields eyebrows, makes her so perfect she really should not exist – or only as a work of art, or a subject for a love-struck poet. I knew a girl who looked  like her. Asked her out twice!

Recommended: Higher Learning, The Hot Spot, Dark City, and her relatively small role in Inventing The Abbots. One scene in particular is gobsmacking.

Irene Jacobs

Irene Jacobs

I just love luminous, soulful-looking women, and Swiss actress Irene Jacob is one of them. She first came to notice through two of Kristof Keislowski’s films: The Double Life of Veronique and Three Colours Red. Both films showcased her soulful, spiritual qualities. She went to the US and played Wesley Snipe’s girlfriend in US Marshall. A waste, an utter waste – but that’s Hollywood.

Olivia de Havilland

Olivia as Maid Marian

I guess women with big, sad cow-eyes do it for me too. ‘Livvy’ often played sacharrine, ‘too good to be true’ damsels in distress like Maid Marian in The Adventures of Robin Hood and Melanie, from Gone With The Wind. She embodies very old ideas of romantic chivalry, and may be a little insipid – but she convinces as someone definitely worth fighting for. Her sister, Joan Fontaine, was almost as good-looking.

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*AKA Russell Forden